Jello Flavors That Should Never Be
The Original List:
Onion
Black olive and ham
Mushroom - Barley
Cod
Cheddar & Bacon
Jalepeņo
Piņa Colada
seafood gumbo
Falafel
Refried beans
Pumpernickel
Spinach
Cumin
Mesquite barbecue/hickory smoked
Sweet & sour
Cherry (oooh, gross)
Scab (now with added pus!)
Diesel Exhaust
Cheddar and Sweat
Chunky Style
Ball Fungus
Bean Dip and Velveeta
Mueslix
Head Cheese
Liver
Carne Asada
Menudo, for those of you who know your Mexican.
Cow tongue
British Beef Jello
Lung-tissue Swirl
Kidney-Pie
Blood-sausage 'n' Berries
Peanut Butter and Pimento
Iguana
Chunky Larva
Helium Mousse
Lemon Gravel
Kleenex
Oak Leaf 'n' Sticks
Tabasco Mint Chiffon
Boiled Okra
Caustic Soda with Lye
Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Baked Bean and Spam
Spleen with real mango pieces
Strawberry Semen
Trout
C Cubed: Carrot, Cumin & Cilantro
Espresso
Durian
Pastrami
Dining Hall Meatloaf
Regurgitated Lasagna
Gerber's Infant Formula
Mole
Glazed donuts
Ear Wax
Belly Button Lint
Morning Breath
Toe Jam
Beef Stroganoff
Anything from the drain in the pong room
Foaming Wound
Seeping gash
Pica
Mop
Ozone burnt rubber ground glass landfill sea urchin dysentery
absinthe
Gin and bailey's
Beaver (take this any way you want)
Colon lining
Bull semen
Barley
The Wet Spot
Roadkill Squirrel
Coagulated Sour Milk
Linus' Roommate's Fumunda Cheese
Whale oil
tuna
vegemite
coffee
venison
scrapple
cheddar
robitussin
gefilte fish
tofu
natural light (beer)
Manhattan puddle
eel
Trashtruck pumpkin
Dirty Douche - 10 % real juice
schmutz that spurts from the bottom of the garbage truck to my windshield
strawberry asparagus
Corn n' Cobwebs
Greasy Squirrel
Chlorine
Metrofoam
Papyrus
"Tunana" (Tuna and Banana medley -- dolphin safe!!)
Dolphin
Springs and Sprockets
Brown Fist
Cabbage
Cherry Vaseline
Sweet & Sour Vinyl
Mung
Pepto Bismol
Creamed chipped beef on toast
baked bean
sauerkraut
tripe
slaughter house floor
Recent Additions:
cream of iguana snout with Cool Whip Lite
Lemon Liposuction Extract
Faverry (Fava bean and berries)
Beef Stew (beef broth jello with carrot, onion, celery, and potato
chunks - serve on slices of lettuce for that extra touch of class)
Guacanilla (avocado and vanilla)
Haggis
Vanilla-cheese-n-ketchup
rat poison
Animal filings
Broomhandle and egg
Shaved marmoset
hamburger and hair
Oregano
Squid
Buckminsterfullerine (This would be expensive, taste bad, and look a terrible jet-black)
Dill
Vodka and Motor Oil
Canola Oil
Plain/Unflavored
Eucalyptis and Catnip (unsweetened, of course)
Wet Monkey
Gravy (with or without lumps)
Bongwater
Seaweed Supreme
Pigeon Excrement
Howard Stern's Bathwater
Janet Reno's Bathwater
Tangy Orangutang
President's Delight (AKA: Extract of Monica's Dress)
Lemon -N- Lice
Freshly-scraped Roadkill
Fido Surprise
Carwash Drainwater
Industrial Sludge
Llama Lactation
Spew & SPAM
Phlegmonade
oily acne
floor-tiles-of-a-dive-bar-urinal
panic attack surprise
crunchy monkey bung
Palpatine's Pap Smear
Pork Rind
Maggot-ala-creme
Lucky Leach
Bovine Cud
Tartar-Scraped-From-My-Teeth
Deep-fried Gerbil
eel bung
cow snout ooze
bovine tounge slime
dog butt
cat litter box surprise with crunchy bits
cottage cheese
rotting turtle
yellow snow
brown snow
stomach contents of a dead, rabid raccoon
poodle pubes
soiled gauze
dandruff
adult video booth mung
rectite
ground glass (unleaded)
golden shower
french armpit
ham radio
Chinese grad student
fish guts
Influenza
Tuna lips
Chicken fried steak
Fertilizer
Ammonia
Nitroglycerine
Uranium 238
Pubic hair and scrotum veins
Wetvac
Giardia Jism Jamboree
Maggot Melon
Prison Juice
Scores of Sores
30-year Cramp
Proctological pate
The Jello That Violates You Anally
Municipal Sludgicle
Your Mom's brain
Shrimp 'n Aspic
Vienna Sausage
Tubercular Lung
Crazy Steve's Sweat
Scraped Tounge
Regurgitated Gumbo
Creme Fistula
Pulled Hamstring
Singed Hair
Cum Sock
Partially Rendered Pork Fat
Mechanically Separated Chicken
Felch
Mustache Weevil
Earwig (10% Real Ear)
Living Maggot (Self Jiggling)
Killer Bee Surprise
Remora
Mega Monosodium Glutamate
Windshield Washer Fluid 'n' Styrofoam
Listerine
Bailey's & Lime
Hydrogen Peroxide
Ground Turkey Beak
Under-Fingernail Gunk
Spent Toner Cartridge Dust
Filthy bed linens
Biohazard Blend
I-can't-believe-it's-not-jerky
special value
Tennessee Tooth Scrapings
Berzerk hairy gherkin mash
Practical joke jello
Seething maggot swirl
Apricot autopsy armagnac
Money-shot zamboni zabaglione
Apple Apoplexy
castor oil
charbroiled gangreene foot
10 year old bleu cheese
fresh maggot
regurgitated rawhide bone
Tomato Aspic
Guinness
Amphetamine Enchilada
Barbituate Burrito
Quaalude Quesidilla
Rusty Oyster Flan
Grey Flannel Ham
TR-33 butter-like spread
Honey bunches of goats
TR-34 butter-like spread
The Binge
Dust-Buster Parfait
Muttonmellon
Raspberry Alfredo
Toma-toad (A blend of vine-ripened beefsteak tomatoes and Eastern wood toads.)
The Dave Letterman Tooth-Gap Collection
Speedo Spumanti
Rocky Roadkill
Pralines and "Cream"
Mint Chocolate Chip Beef and Toast
Chunky Monkey-spunk
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, eggs, bacon and spam
Broccoli Flavored Bathtub Fart
Butt Cheese
creme ala sink
Brussles Sprouts with Butt Cheese
Anna Nicole Smith
Scrapage
Mr Christie's Chunks of Funk
E-mail me with more truly repulsive jello flavors. And now that you've read this list, come see the rest of the Bizarre Writers' Guild.