Why should he have a moment's respite? He is, after all, the 'very best Secretary of Defense' we ever had, you should let him know how good a job he's doing. And if there is a little constructive criticism mixed in, surely he would appreciate it. Alternatively, you could find out how much blood the human body holds, multiply that quantity by 818, (the number of american soldiers killed in iraq), and start pouring fake blood out your window until you have spilled as much fake blood as they have real blood. Unless you think that's too subtle....

Three words:
Pie in face.

Perhaps you could invite him in and have him drink beer from a three-headed funnel, then watch as he barfs in the dorm hallway.

No wait, that was Tor at F&M Homecoming. Never mind.

What you should have done was walk up to hime with a drink and offer this toast....... "Here's to your Retirement!!!!!! Going Golfing with Big George from CIA???" Then of course follow that up with a shocked looking expression, mumbling something about Rove not wanting you to mention that yet........

Take a big dump in a paper bag, walk up to him, put it on his shoes, and light it. Then tell him you appreciate the opportunity to demonstrate what he and his cronies have created for us with the rest of the world. A big flaming pile o' poo.

No one saw me do it, that puke was all over the hall from before I left the room, you can't prove anything. But that steak was better the first time I tasted it.