Whale


by Lion

Delilah was thinking about her boyfriend Zack as she stepped up to the batter's mound.

"You are a cruel and malevolent person who only likes whales."

Delilah needed to put her attention back onto the game, so she focused on the pitcher's ball. It was no longer a ball. It was now Zack's head, and she was going to channel her passion into striking Zack's head into the sea, where it would smash into a whale, and kill it.

Delilah pulled back her bat and got into position. The pitcher readied the ball, stood on one leg, and then threw the ball towards the home plate. It was a speedball. Delilah saw it coming, and slammed it.

Her visualization had worked.

The ball was soaring far and high into the sky, and was clearly going to make it out of the stadium.

Zack watched the ball fly immediately overhead, from within the audience. The up-and-down movement was making him nauseous, but he clung to the railing and managed to hold on. When at last the ball was out of his sight, far from the stadium, he sat down and watched as Delilah nonchalantly walked to first base, then second base, then third base, and finally home.

"Once again, she made an excellent shot," thought Zack. "We'll have to celebrate in some way tonight."

After the game ended, Zack greeted Delilah with his proposal for celebration. Delilah smiled mischievously, thinking of the fun to come.

Before Zack and Delilah returned home, they stopped at the toy store. For he purpose of merriment, they purchased twenty tamagotchi.

As Zack and Delilah drove home, Delilah noted that one of the tamagotchi looked mysteriously like the ball she had hit, just that afternoon.

"I saw that one and picked it out, so I suppose that one is mine. I hope it grows up to be a whale," said Zack to Delilah. Delilah eyed him wearily, but was too exited about her victory to get angry.

Zack and Delilah arrived home, and waited until their roommate Andre fell asleep. They then initiated the tomogatchi's programs. Twenty digital eggs appeared on twenty tamagotchi screens. With sinister grins upon their faces, Zack and Delilah were delighted to see each one hatch, right there in front of them.

"Now all that remains is for us to hide them in Andre's room!" said Delilah.

Zack laughed. "I think he'll like this batch," he mocked, as he envisioned Andre, alone in his room, surrounded by twenty chirping tamagotchis, tortured by his obsessive compulsion to care for each and every tamagotchi.

Zack and Delilah cracked open the door to Andre's room, and sneaking inside, hid the twenty tamagotchis.

They then left the room, made their way safely to the kitchen, and exploded in laughter.

"Poor Andre. In 5 minutes, he should be in the midst of a nervous breakdown!" Zack said amidst a snicker.

Five minutes later, Andre burst into the kitchen. Andre eyed a cleaver on the kitchen table, and Zack and Delilah suddenly turned white.

Cursing in French, Andre snatched the cleaver from the table and sprinted out the open door.

"Oh no, what have we done," thought Delilah.

Delilah and Zack chased Andre, following him back into his room.

"I never minded the maggots much," said Andre under his breath, as he systematically destroyed every tamagotchi he could find.

"This isn't about you and Delilah playing practical jokes on me," he said, chopping an LED display into small pieces. "This is about me, and the tamagotchi." He began to sob, and Delilah began to feel a little sad.

Delilah said to Zack, "C'mon, jokes over, lets go to bed!"

Zack wanted to watch some more, but weariness overcame him, and he went to bed with Delilah.

Zack and Delilah awoke the next morning, and went to check on Andre.

When they couldn't find Andre in his room, only a mess of wires and pieces of tamagotchi, they searched the house. Andre was nowhere to be found. And his car was still in the car port.

That was when Zack first heard Delilah's shriek.

Zack walked towards Delilah, who was stumbling out of Andre's room.

"Loo- Look in In Andre's trunk!"

Zack walked into Andre's room, and looked into his trunk.

Zack dropped to the ground as he realized that the stinking heap of blood and bones in the trunk was once his friend Andre.

The cleaver was in the trunk as well.

Then Zack heard the wailing cry of the last remaining tamagotchi.


Back to the Bizarre Writers' Guild.