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The recipe says simply, "Plunge a sharp knife into top of lobster's head just behind the eyes (to kill it quickly); chop into 8-10 pieces." The recipe lies. I embedded a paring knife to the hilt in that lobster's head, wiggled it around for a few minutes and it had absolutely no effect except to make the lobster writhe in pain. I frantically changed the angle of the knife around, the depth, stabbing like a madman. Rasputin the lobster wiggled his legs and claws and refused to die. Luckily, I happened to have a large pot of boiling water nearby. Rasputin went in head first, and wiggled for a few more minutes, finally coming to a stop. Because the recepe calls for the lobster to be sauted instead of boiled, I pulled him out. As I started chopping him into 8-10 pieces, he began to struggle again. However, once he was completely delimbed and de-tailed, I chucked the head into the trash. And tossed him down the garbage chute. Last night, I had a dream of him climbing back up, like something out of Terminator 2. So now I sit here, waiting for a tap-tap-tap at the door to tell me that Rasputin has come for payback. As penance, I'm listening to Falco's 'Rock me Amadeus' on repeat. Something tells me that its not enough.
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