Bizarre Writers' Guild

The Bizarre Writers' Guild was originally formed to showcase the creative efforts of a cadre of free-thinking writers. These writers used the BWG as an archive--a place to return and reflect on their collective work and to stimulate further non-traditional thought. But the writers soon realized that they had on their desktops a vast, untapped resource with enormous potential and consequence. This mission statement is an attempt to convey this potential to you and persuade you to join our cause.

First, we will define the BWG by listing a few things that it is NOT. It is not a corporate solicitation, a contest or a promotion. There are no dues, obligations or rules. It is not a religion, a cult or a movement. It claims no allegiance to any government party, political entity or individual. It has no wisdom teeth. It contains a bit of spam, but is mostly top sirloin. It goes with red or white wine. It cannot become enraged and tear out your hard drive.

You're still with us...good. Now that that's out of the way, let's discuss what the BWG really is--fun. It's not fun like a gross joke that lasts for a few moments until you forget all about it and wonder why you're laughing in the first place. No, the BWG is meant to be the kind of stimulating fun you get at the amusement park, waiting on line for the biggest rollercoaster around. You may find yourself excited, scared, making funny faces or jumping about in anticipation of the thrill that awaits. Moreover, it should be a shared experience that you will want to - and can - revisit whenever the spirit moves you. After all, ours is a stressful world and a bit of levity can help to put it all back into perspective. Our mission is help people think and act a bit more like who they really want to be. To shed off the yoke of common social ethics and mores to do something truly and uninhibitedly raw. To burst from our confining chrysalis and sail magestically into a new world with an enhanced perspective. To let yourself fly and experience moments of freedom.

So this is your invitation to join the Bizarre Writers' Guild. We invite you to read the stories and allow them to affect you in some basic human way. And if you understand and agree with our purpose, then we challenge you to contribute to the BWG something that captures your creative essence. Write a story or a poem. Contribute a truly hideous jello flavor. Or invite your fellow BWG members to create something of your own design. No matter to us. Be creative. Be scary, humorous, gross, or veal. Get out that eggpaper and show us what you got.

Tim, Melissa, Walt, Bobby, Rupert and Felicia
Founders, Bizarre Writers' Guild


NOTICE: All works included herein are NOT in the public domain. All copyrights are retained by the authors. Web sites may freely link to this front page at, but may not link directly to any story or other included work. If you have completely lost your mind and are interested in publishing any of the included works in any format, please e-mail Carl to be put in touch with the relevant parties (please use "Bizarre Writers Guild" as your subject line). Contributions to or questions about the Bizarre Writers' Guild should also be directed to Carl, that big fool.
Send Tor some of your lunch while you're at it.